Ask Haz: Facebook Etiquette For Relationships by @HazTV

 

Hey Haz, 

If you’re in a relationship, is it ok to leave comments for or converse with the opposite sex online? What is the appropriate social networking etiquette?

 

Nowadays it seems that there’s a common misconception that social media is the “devil” when it comes to relationships, and if you mix the two things will almost always  go bad. The fact is having this much access to our significant others daily interactions with other people is new territory for us as humans and its clear that we haven’t evolved at the same pace as our technology. We have acquired the ability to create and control our very own digital identities with access to anything and almost anyone in the world but have yet to acquire the ability to analyze and control our own feelings of jealousy and insecurity from within. The real problem here is by design, everybody is single online. No matter what you want to tell yourself, there is no room for a relationship on Twitter or Facebook. Social networking was not designed with relationships in mind. Now I believe a man or woman can flirt and carry on with tons of random people daily online, then log off to leave that world behind and be in a committed monogamous relationship in the real world. I know its possible because I’ve done it. The question here isn’t about the intent. If you’re with someone with ill intent then there really is nothing you can do about it. The problem most people have is when a partner’s online identity behaves as if he/she is still single. Most people wouldn’t expect to see their partner flirting and carrying on with the opposite sex in person so they don’t find it appropriate or acceptable when they see the same behavior online. The internet is modern day virtual reality.  Liking a picture is comparable to walking up to somebody and telling them you like how they look. So it’s only logical that “liking a bitches pics on Instagram will get you a boiling hot pot of water to the face” in real life, or so I’ve been told. In the end it all stems from jealousy and insecurity. Nobody likes to see someone else receive the attention they feel is reserved for them, and most people definitely don’t have a desire to share their significant other. However, to become obsessed with your partner’s timeline or activity tab speaks volumes of the level of trust you have for them in the first place. To answer your original question the only way to gauge what’s “appropriate” is for you and your partner to discuss it and make that determination for yourselves. Every relationship is different. You must first determine what you feel is acceptable then express those feelings with your significant other and hopefully their belief system aligns with yours. That’s really what it comes down to. Knowing what you want and finding somebody that wants the same thing. Me personally, I don’t feel like anybody should have to censor themselves for the sake of a relationship but at the same time if they are truly compatible they won’t have to.

 

@Haztv is the Co-host of Chunky Chickz Radio and an up and coming writer and social commentator with frequent blog contributions to #SoPhi & he will now be giving sound advice to the readers of Chunky Chickz World.
Hit him up at helpmehaz@gmail.com if you have a problem that you need help solving!  
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